The right toRemain Funny

A formal warning for a trivial offense.

Right to Remain Funny makes a personalized, obviously-not-real Miranda warning for someone who needs to exercise their right to remain silent. For iPhone.

Tap the town. Everything in it has been advised of its rights.

The street keeps its own hours. To see the others:

In the matter of

Miranda cards for your friends.

Type a first name and pick the offense: the friend who is always on their way, the group chat's voice-note artist, whoever microwaved the fish. The card is ready in a second, and you share it from your own phone through your own messaging app. The app never sends anything itself.

Coming to the App Store

The listing goes live after App Review. Twenty-six cards; six free; the rest one purchase.

The first right

You have the right to a formal warning.

Right to Remain Funny makes a personalized, obviously-not-real Miranda warning for someone who needs to exercise their right to remain silent. Type a first name, pick the offense, and the card is ready: their name read into the record, the charge set in the matter of.

You share it from your own phone, through your own messaging app, and the recipient sees a picture. The app never sends anything itself, keeps no account, and collects nothing.

In the matter of Screenshots

Dana,

You have the right to remain silent in this group chat. Anything you type can and will be screenshotted and brought up at brunch. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, the group will appoint whoever has the most free time and the least context.

Right to Remain FunnyA parody · Not legal advice

Allegedly.

One of the six free cards. Every card carries the same footer, so no one mistakes it for the real thing. The real thing does not come with a name field.

Group Chat · Couples · Friends · Food Offenses · Family · Occasions · Office Life

The docket · 26 cards

You have the right to every card.

Seven collections, each with its own offenses. Six cards are free; the rest join them with one purchase.

CollectionOffensesCards
Group ChatScreenshots, voice notes, excessive replies4 1 free
CouplesChoosing dinner, stealing blankets, the thermostat4 1 free
FriendsUnsolicited advice, arriving late, improbable stories4 1 free
Food OffensesLeftovers, fries, the air fryer4 1 free
FamilyRepeated stories, family-chat habits, holiday debates5 1 free
OccasionsBirthdays and other sentences1
Office LifeReply-all, unnecessary meetings, borrowing pens4 1 free

Every card is a parody of the Miranda warning. Where a card borrows the familiar lines, it bends them on purpose. "You have the right to an attorney" is the one line never touched.
The evidence desk: a banker's lamp, the seven collection cards fanned out, a pair of gold toy handcuffs resting on them.

The purchase

If you cannot afford one, six are free.

Six cards cost nothing and never will. The other twenty, across all seven collections, are one purchase of $4.99 on the App Store: no subscription, nothing expires, yours on your Apple account for good, restorable on a new phone.

Until then, a paid card shows its opening line and keeps the rest under redaction, as a leaked memo would:

In the matter of The Voice Note

To whom it may concern,

You have the right to remain silent. A four-minute voice note is not an exercise of that right. Anything you say after "okay so, basically" can and will be played back at one-and-a-half speed by everyone in this chat. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed for you, and will be the first person to reach the end.

Right to Remain FunnyA parody · Not legal advice

Allegedly.

Purchases and refunds go through Apple. Nothing is charged twice; "Restore a purchase" asks Apple whether your account already owns the collection.

For the record

Written by an attorney.

Lady Justice, peeking from under her blindfold.

Right to Remain Funny was written by Chad Seibel, an attorney in Central Florida who thinks the right to remain silent deserves more use.

Every card is a parody of the Miranda warning, made for entertainment, and none of it is legal advice. The familiar lines are borrowed and bent on purpose. If you need a lawyer, hire one; if you need a card, you are in the right place.

Private by design

No account, no analytics, nothing collected. Your cards and your remembered name stay on your phone, and one tap in About deletes them. This website keeps no records either: no cookies, no trackers, nothing loaded from anywhere else.

The street

The town outside is the app's own painted street, in the style of a board-game box lid. It follows your clock, dawn to night, as it does on the phone, and the courthouse clock keeps time.

Support · Privacy policy

The clerk's office

You have the right to ask.

Questions about the app, a purchase that will not restore, a card that will not share: the support page covers each, and says how to reach us.

What the app collects is nothing, and the privacy policy says so at a little more length. There is no account, no server, and no analytics, in the app or on this site.

Refunds are handled by Apple, at reportaproblem.apple.com, since the purchase is made through the App Store.

Open by appointment. There are no appointments.